It's Not My Baby

Every day I wake up and I curse my disease for making my body hurt so bad. But then I see the sleeping angelic faces of my daughters and I thank my lucky stars it's me and not them. I don't know a mother who wouldn't switch places with her kid who is in terrible pain and cancer moms are no different.

Every time I wonder "why me?" I remember it's because "it's not my baby".

Every time I'm put in a machine or poked with a needle or hospitalized I remember that there are little kids going thru the same thing so I suck it up. I'm an adult, I understand what's going on. And it's me, not my baby.

Every time I walk into the cancer center I walk past the children's wing and I thank my lucky stars I don't have to go in that door. I'm thankful it's me, not my baby.

Every time someone comments on finding a cure for breast cancer I agree that it's important but not as important as childhood cancers. I don't want to die at 40. I'm not done yet. But at least I've had 40 years. I've completed school, worked, vacationed, traveled, married the love of my life, surrounded myself with the most amazing and supportive friends and family, and given birth to two beautiful healthy girls. And I'd gladly go at 40 if it meant my daughters will live a long and healthy and happy life. I don't like it at all but it would be 1000% worse if it were my baby.

How can I be so sure? Because I have 3, yes THREE, childhood cancer moms in my circle of friends. I've seen the fear, the determination, the love, the sheer will that it takes to care for a child, your baby, battling cancer. And I know all 3 of those moms would have taken the suffering on themselves in an instant if it spared their child.

September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month.
If you have the means, please donate to a reputable childhood cancer charity.
If you know nothing about this please educate yourself on the topic.
If you aren't sure what else you can do, spread the word, share my post, change your profile photo, wear gold or a gold ribbon.

These kids need us. These parents need us. And 4% funding is NOT enough.

Childhood Cancer isn't just a smiling bald kid on TV, it's my friends.

It's Luke, a stage 3 Wilms tumor survivor who started playing football this year.

It's Mackenzie, a leukemia survivor who started kindergarten with her twin sister last week.

It's Ben, a 2 time cancer survivor (kidney and lung) who after 2 long years of being only at home and in the hospital, got to take a vacation this summer and experience the beach for the first time.

Originally Posted by me on FB back on September 1, 2018