I am currently married and next month we will have been together a total of 4 years. I remember writing this post but can't pinpoint the actual date. I had originally posted it to my MySpace (yes I posted it that long ago) page but when I deleted my account I thought to keep this one. So here is something from the archives.
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A co-worker said something a few years ago that stuck with me. We were talking about our boyfriends and she was talking about a fight she had with hers. She said "no matter how mad I am at him, I'd rather be in the same room as him and be mad than be anywhere else". That hit me a few days later when my boyfriend and I had our first real fight. I was in the basement with every intention of sleeping there and he went to bed alone. And as I lay there on the futon, on the phone with my best friend, it dawned on me... no matter how much he had pissed me off, i still really wanted to be in bed with him. I swallowed my pride and the lump in my throat from crying and went upstairs and we made up. No I didn't come crawling back, but I made the first move. It was because I really wanted to work it out. I HATED being mad at him. And I don't sleep well if my feet aren't touching his....
Back in 2006 a friend of mine and his longtime girlfriend broke up. He said he knew things were going south when he started noticing other girls. I was like, "seriously!? I mean after 5 years you've never noticed another girl??" That was way beyond my comprehension. I've been in love before, a few times, heck I've been married before, but I've never been so wrapped up in another person that i never noticed anyone else. Then I met my boyfriend and it clicked. I don't notice other men anymore. I used to look at someone good looking or smart or charming and wonder what they are like to talk to, date, or be with but that has stopped happening. I didn't even notice it until i started thinking about it and i realized something... This is a happiness I've never felt before. I've never been so happy with someone that i know in my heart no one else could make me happier.
Ever tried to describe love to a kid? They ask how do you know you are in love and you have to resort back to "you just know".... Well that's because everyone's idea of love is different. I've been in love so deeply that I've been crushed and had my heart burst into pieces when we split. But it still wasn't the same all consuming feeling i have now. I would have been happy feeling the way I used to feel. I mean i was happy. But this, this is different.... and if you ever have felt this way, this all consuming, never want to live without them, would rather be in the room mad at them, know no one else will ever make you happier love then you are the luckiest.... This is a feeling i wish for all my friends. This is the stuff 50 year marriages are made of. If everyone waited for this feeling before they took the leap there would be a lot less divorce in the world. But sadly people (myself included) get wrapped up in getting married, having kids by a certain time, having a big wedding, buying a house, and settling down that they do just that, they settle. I do want to someday marry my boyfriend. But it's a new feeling for me to know that if that day never comes I'd be ok with that. I'd be happy just going to sleep next to him every night and feel his feet there under the covers cause that's how i know everything is going to be all right.
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And if you are wondering if things are still the same... they are. My husband is my soulmate which is funny because before him I never believed in them. Anyone who has ever met us can attest to this. And in our 4 years we've only fought 3 times. And each time, the worst part was being mad at him. The best part... he FINALLY learned that all it takes is to hug me and tell me everything is going to be ok.
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A co-worker said something a few years ago that stuck with me. We were talking about our boyfriends and she was talking about a fight she had with hers. She said "no matter how mad I am at him, I'd rather be in the same room as him and be mad than be anywhere else". That hit me a few days later when my boyfriend and I had our first real fight. I was in the basement with every intention of sleeping there and he went to bed alone. And as I lay there on the futon, on the phone with my best friend, it dawned on me... no matter how much he had pissed me off, i still really wanted to be in bed with him. I swallowed my pride and the lump in my throat from crying and went upstairs and we made up. No I didn't come crawling back, but I made the first move. It was because I really wanted to work it out. I HATED being mad at him. And I don't sleep well if my feet aren't touching his....
Back in 2006 a friend of mine and his longtime girlfriend broke up. He said he knew things were going south when he started noticing other girls. I was like, "seriously!? I mean after 5 years you've never noticed another girl??" That was way beyond my comprehension. I've been in love before, a few times, heck I've been married before, but I've never been so wrapped up in another person that i never noticed anyone else. Then I met my boyfriend and it clicked. I don't notice other men anymore. I used to look at someone good looking or smart or charming and wonder what they are like to talk to, date, or be with but that has stopped happening. I didn't even notice it until i started thinking about it and i realized something... This is a happiness I've never felt before. I've never been so happy with someone that i know in my heart no one else could make me happier.
Ever tried to describe love to a kid? They ask how do you know you are in love and you have to resort back to "you just know".... Well that's because everyone's idea of love is different. I've been in love so deeply that I've been crushed and had my heart burst into pieces when we split. But it still wasn't the same all consuming feeling i have now. I would have been happy feeling the way I used to feel. I mean i was happy. But this, this is different.... and if you ever have felt this way, this all consuming, never want to live without them, would rather be in the room mad at them, know no one else will ever make you happier love then you are the luckiest.... This is a feeling i wish for all my friends. This is the stuff 50 year marriages are made of. If everyone waited for this feeling before they took the leap there would be a lot less divorce in the world. But sadly people (myself included) get wrapped up in getting married, having kids by a certain time, having a big wedding, buying a house, and settling down that they do just that, they settle. I do want to someday marry my boyfriend. But it's a new feeling for me to know that if that day never comes I'd be ok with that. I'd be happy just going to sleep next to him every night and feel his feet there under the covers cause that's how i know everything is going to be all right.
~~~~
And if you are wondering if things are still the same... they are. My husband is my soulmate which is funny because before him I never believed in them. Anyone who has ever met us can attest to this. And in our 4 years we've only fought 3 times. And each time, the worst part was being mad at him. The best part... he FINALLY learned that all it takes is to hug me and tell me everything is going to be ok.
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