If you keep turning your back on reality, eventually it will kick you in the butt.
Rachel L. Virk in Bits and Pieces
Rachel L. Virk in Bits and Pieces
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Wise People Wednesday
"Character is Who We Are When No One is Watching"
~Fred Nicklaus I love this quote and believe it to be true. If you were walking with a bunch of people and watched someone drop a hundred dollar bill you'd more than likely tap that person on the shoulder and let them know that they dropped their money. Your friends were think you were sweet and tell others the story. Now back it up; no friends are with you and there would be no way to ever know if you waited and picked up that money... would you do it? I know I wouldn't. The Dame tells an excellent story about what people do when they don't realize they are being watched. It's called "Right Now" and it's in her Nov 2007 archives.And for those who are thinking it, I know, I know, I broke my promise. My willpower isn't as strong as I had hoped and I cheated on my "no soda" bet. I totally intend to come clean and buy her lunch but the reason for my lie is to keep her from smoking for as long as I can which I think is a far nobler cause.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Swirlie for the prankster
Well, we're on week two of my "no soda" bet. As far as I know my co-worker has not had a cigarette and as far as she knows I have not had a soda. (I cheated with a few sips last night and a soda with dinner today... I do fully intend to purchase her meal as agreed upon but until she cracks, or it's been a month, which ever comes first, I'm not mentioning it. Just because my willpower sucks doesn't mean I want her to start smoking again.)
But that's besides the point. The point is that the owner of my company has had her college age son come in and help us out over the summer. He does odd jobs like filing, helping with large mailings, stuff like that. Over the past few weeks we've gotten to know each other enough to joke around a bit. He has had a blast with the soda thing. Every day he comes to my desk, cracks open a cold one and gulps it, finishing with a loud "ahhhhh". If he weren't trying to break me I'd think he were auditioning for a Coke commercial.
Yesterday he was picking on me so much that I told him if he's going to act like my little brother then I'm going to treat him like one and if he didn't cut it out I'd give him a swirlie. Then the little snot goes and tells his mother (again, owner of the company) that I said that! And to my horror she asks what a swirlie is... so here I am explaining to my boss that I just offered to hold her kid upside down with his head in a toilet and flush... Yeah, coulda killed him.
But just when I think he's done he goes and does this...
Yes, what you are seeing is right, this is the recycling bin emptied into a clear plastic bag and put under my desk... funny... very funny... too bad he's a temp or he would have had everything on his desk shrink wrapped when he got in tomorrow...
But that's besides the point. The point is that the owner of my company has had her college age son come in and help us out over the summer. He does odd jobs like filing, helping with large mailings, stuff like that. Over the past few weeks we've gotten to know each other enough to joke around a bit. He has had a blast with the soda thing. Every day he comes to my desk, cracks open a cold one and gulps it, finishing with a loud "ahhhhh". If he weren't trying to break me I'd think he were auditioning for a Coke commercial.
Yesterday he was picking on me so much that I told him if he's going to act like my little brother then I'm going to treat him like one and if he didn't cut it out I'd give him a swirlie. Then the little snot goes and tells his mother (again, owner of the company) that I said that! And to my horror she asks what a swirlie is... so here I am explaining to my boss that I just offered to hold her kid upside down with his head in a toilet and flush... Yeah, coulda killed him.
But just when I think he's done he goes and does this...
Yes, what you are seeing is right, this is the recycling bin emptied into a clear plastic bag and put under my desk... funny... very funny... too bad he's a temp or he would have had everything on his desk shrink wrapped when he got in tomorrow...
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Wise People Wednesday
People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing – that's why we recommend it daily.
~ Zig Ziglar
This quote has special meaning to me today. I have a 7-9 can of soda per day habit. I know... I know... A girlfriend of mine came up to me at work this past Friday and read me some article that said: "Women who drink two or more cans of soda pop per day are at an increased risk of developing early kidney disease, according to a new study." I don't remember what she was reading but it didn't surprise me. She started giving me crap about my habit so I looked her in the face and said "I'll give up soda if you give up smoking." She laughed and walked away. To my surprise she approached me on Monday and said "if you are serious you've got a deal." We walk out on the balcony and she finishes her last cigarette as I finish the can of soda I was working on. And that was that. Two days later she's annoyed with friends who light up in front of her and I've got one wicked caffeine headache but we're doing it. We decided that the winner gets to pick lunch and the loser gets to pay. I'm fully aware that I've got the easy side of this deal. I know that what she's giving up, a 10 year smoking habit, is much harder than what I've got to do. So when I win, and I know I will, I'm not going to pick anything expensive and then I'm going to challenge her again, and again, and again. Because if I can get one person to stop smoking then I'm gonna do what I gotta do.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
How to embarass a man
It was my best friend's birthday. Life got away from me and I had forgotten to send a gift or even a card. I get to work that morning and decide I'm going to search online for something to send to him. But what can be delivered the same day? Flowers? No, you don't send a man flowers. Electronics? Not the same day... besides I can't afford anything good. Cookies? Ok, let's try cookies... This is a grown man who's getting the gift at work, I'm not sending a basket of race car cookies. Balloons? Perfect! They can deliver the same day, are in my price range, and just embarrassing enough to tell him how much I love and miss him without overdoing it while he's at work. So I hit purchase, confirm his info and off I go. Around 2 I get a text message and then an IM "did you send me flowers" "no" "really?" "yeah why" "cause I got flowers". Now I said no because I didn't send him flowers, I sent him balloons from 1-800flowers and they were probably just calling to confirm the delivery address.... Nope, they screwed up, they sent him flowers... hot pink ones...
Boy was I in trouble! But at least he laughed. Not as hard as I or Shaw (close friend of ours) laughed but he definitely found the humor in this.
And my mission of embarrassing him? Accomplished!
Then, later that day, his entire office comes in with a cake to sing for him so he not only has a bouquet of hot pink roses on his desk but now everyone's seen them and he has to explain....
I e-mail 1-800flowers and tell them "I ordered balloons and he got hot pink roses". They e-mail me back, apologize for the mix up and say "we contacted the vendor and they read the name wrong". Um... did they see Danielle instead of David? What does the name matter, this is not the difference of blue flowers vs pink flowers... this was supposed to be balloons! "But we can have the balloons delivered tomorrow, please let us know if this is satisfactory". Not really, his birthday is today.... No wait, if the goal is embarrassing him... what's worse than a man receiving hot pink flowers for his birthday... Receiving a big bunch of balloons when it's not his birthday! So i tell them to go ahead.
And one day after his official birthday, he IM's me to tell me he's on his way down to the reception desk to pick up a large display of balloons that's just come in for him...
Boy was I in trouble! But at least he laughed. Not as hard as I or Shaw (close friend of ours) laughed but he definitely found the humor in this.
And my mission of embarrassing him? Accomplished!
Then, later that day, his entire office comes in with a cake to sing for him so he not only has a bouquet of hot pink roses on his desk but now everyone's seen them and he has to explain....
I e-mail 1-800flowers and tell them "I ordered balloons and he got hot pink roses". They e-mail me back, apologize for the mix up and say "we contacted the vendor and they read the name wrong". Um... did they see Danielle instead of David? What does the name matter, this is not the difference of blue flowers vs pink flowers... this was supposed to be balloons! "But we can have the balloons delivered tomorrow, please let us know if this is satisfactory". Not really, his birthday is today.... No wait, if the goal is embarrassing him... what's worse than a man receiving hot pink flowers for his birthday... Receiving a big bunch of balloons when it's not his birthday! So i tell them to go ahead.
And one day after his official birthday, he IM's me to tell me he's on his way down to the reception desk to pick up a large display of balloons that's just come in for him...
The reasons gays shouldn't marry and why they are horses#*t
Here are quite possibly the best arguments for why gays shouldn't marry and the reasons they are horses#*t!
I take no credit for writing this (tho I wish I could because it's brilliant). Alex referenced this in one of her posts. The original post can be found here: THINGS according to me.
Whoopie Goldberg says, "If you don't like gay marriage, don't marry anyone gay."
Other than that, what is the problem? How does it effect you? Well, over at (blog name removed), I saw 10 reasons to be against gay marriage. Ten really good reasons, some of which I've heard before and some new ones. Feel free to add your own. I especially want to know how my marriage will effect your marriage.
1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people encourages you to be tall.
3) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we in America expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even marry their pets because you know dogs have full legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
I take no credit for writing this (tho I wish I could because it's brilliant). Alex referenced this in one of her posts. The original post can be found here: THINGS according to me.
Whoopie Goldberg says, "If you don't like gay marriage, don't marry anyone gay."
Other than that, what is the problem? How does it effect you? Well, over at (blog name removed), I saw 10 reasons to be against gay marriage. Ten really good reasons, some of which I've heard before and some new ones. Feel free to add your own. I especially want to know how my marriage will effect your marriage.
1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people encourages you to be tall.
3) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we in America expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even marry their pets because you know dogs have full legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
I threw my cat out the window...
Well, I didn't really throw him out the window, he jumped on his own accord.
A few weeks ago my fiancee and his father were working on their new fishing boat in the driveway. They wanted to take a funny picture of them rowing and fishing in the driveway so I took the camera up to the bedroom on the second floor and opened the window. I took a few pictures thru the screen but they didn't come out so i opened it and took a few more.
I went back downstairs to show them the pics and then continued my day. I was sitting on my bed when I saw a flash of black at the window and then he was gone. I realized what had happened, put my conversation on hold and ran to the window. I stuck my head out the window and Lee looks up at me and you can see the realization come over his face. He was about to ask how the cat got outside...
Poor Jack (the cat) thought he would land on the small patch of roof below the bedroom window but it's a steep incline on a slate roof. He landed on the roof of my car and same thing, he couldn't get traction so with a large exhale he hit the ground and ran to the back door. He whined and whined until we let him back in the house. Physically he was ok but he wouldn't talk to us for an hour. I'm not sure if he was embarrassed or mad at me for letting him waste one of his 9 lives.
A few weeks ago my fiancee and his father were working on their new fishing boat in the driveway. They wanted to take a funny picture of them rowing and fishing in the driveway so I took the camera up to the bedroom on the second floor and opened the window. I took a few pictures thru the screen but they didn't come out so i opened it and took a few more.
I went back downstairs to show them the pics and then continued my day. I was sitting on my bed when I saw a flash of black at the window and then he was gone. I realized what had happened, put my conversation on hold and ran to the window. I stuck my head out the window and Lee looks up at me and you can see the realization come over his face. He was about to ask how the cat got outside...
Poor Jack (the cat) thought he would land on the small patch of roof below the bedroom window but it's a steep incline on a slate roof. He landed on the roof of my car and same thing, he couldn't get traction so with a large exhale he hit the ground and ran to the back door. He whined and whined until we let him back in the house. Physically he was ok but he wouldn't talk to us for an hour. I'm not sure if he was embarrassed or mad at me for letting him waste one of his 9 lives.
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus
I've learned an important lesson and wanted to share it with all you ladies...
I used to be the kind of girl who never had girlfriends... didn't see the use for them... they were catty and petty and I didn't want them.... I had enough guy friends.... boy was I making a mistake!!!
Guy friends are great, don't get me wrong but you'll always need friends of both gender. If you block out one you are missing an entire support system that you may need later in life.
Here's what I see as the fundamental difference between guy friends and girl friends:
If you want a problem solved, bring it to a man. When you go to a man w/ a problem he views it as a cry for help and does what he can to fix it. Some are better than others. Some offer insight and some offer ice cream... but what ever it is they offer, they view it as a solution to your problem (or at least the answer that makes you stop crying).
If you just want someone to listen, bring it to a woman. She's not going to try to fix your problem (unless you ask her to)... her job is to listen, relate, tell you her story of when she went thru the same thing... make you laugh if you are crying... offer to kick the crap out of the person who upset you... bring up past experiences you've shared when trying to make a big decision... but if you call a woman crying and say you just want to talk, she'll get that and just let you rant, even if it's 3 am.
So many women run into problems when they don't understand this concept. If you bring a problem to a man and all you wanted was someone to listen to you rant for a few minutes then you're just going to be frustrated in the end... he's going to start telling you what he sees is the problem and how to fix it... you may already know the fix... you many not even want to fix it... you were just upset and wanted to rant... well then you should have brought it to a woman.
On the other hand, if you bring a problem to a woman and you want someone to make the decision for you then you'll be equally as frustrated. You'll spend hours on the phone weighing options, going over past experiences, hearing related stories and getting advice... what you won't get is someone who'll tell you what to do or offer to do it for you.
Apparently I'm not the first or only person to come to this conclusion. Apparently it's one of the points in the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Maybe I should have read it when it was recommended to me years ago and it wouldn't have taken me so long to realize this. Thanks Patrick for trying...
I used to be the kind of girl who never had girlfriends... didn't see the use for them... they were catty and petty and I didn't want them.... I had enough guy friends.... boy was I making a mistake!!!
Guy friends are great, don't get me wrong but you'll always need friends of both gender. If you block out one you are missing an entire support system that you may need later in life.
Here's what I see as the fundamental difference between guy friends and girl friends:
If you want a problem solved, bring it to a man. When you go to a man w/ a problem he views it as a cry for help and does what he can to fix it. Some are better than others. Some offer insight and some offer ice cream... but what ever it is they offer, they view it as a solution to your problem (or at least the answer that makes you stop crying).
If you just want someone to listen, bring it to a woman. She's not going to try to fix your problem (unless you ask her to)... her job is to listen, relate, tell you her story of when she went thru the same thing... make you laugh if you are crying... offer to kick the crap out of the person who upset you... bring up past experiences you've shared when trying to make a big decision... but if you call a woman crying and say you just want to talk, she'll get that and just let you rant, even if it's 3 am.
So many women run into problems when they don't understand this concept. If you bring a problem to a man and all you wanted was someone to listen to you rant for a few minutes then you're just going to be frustrated in the end... he's going to start telling you what he sees is the problem and how to fix it... you may already know the fix... you many not even want to fix it... you were just upset and wanted to rant... well then you should have brought it to a woman.
On the other hand, if you bring a problem to a woman and you want someone to make the decision for you then you'll be equally as frustrated. You'll spend hours on the phone weighing options, going over past experiences, hearing related stories and getting advice... what you won't get is someone who'll tell you what to do or offer to do it for you.
Apparently I'm not the first or only person to come to this conclusion. Apparently it's one of the points in the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Maybe I should have read it when it was recommended to me years ago and it wouldn't have taken me so long to realize this. Thanks Patrick for trying...
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
My Tribute to the late Michael Jackson
Well I started my blog with a tribute to Alex and Dame so why not make my first post one that was previously done by both women.
Pick Your Artist:
The instructions are: Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, answer these questions.
Are you male or female: Superfly Sister
Describe yourself: Working Day And Night
How do you feel about yourself: What More Can I Give
Describe your current boy/girl situation: Another Part Of Me or Love Never Felt So Good or For All Time
Describe where you currently live: On The Line
If you could go anywhere you wanted to go: Ease On Down The Road
Your favorite form of transportation: Sunset Driver or Fly Away
Your best friend is: Heartbreaker
Your favorite color is: Black or White
Favorite time of day: Niteline
If your life were a TV show, what would it be called: Someone In The Dark
What is life to you: It's The Falling In Love
What is the best advice you have to give: Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough
"Lift Your Head Up High
And Scream Out To The World
I Know I Am Someone
And Let The Truth Unfurl
No One Can Hurt You Now
Because You Know What's True
Yes, I Believe In Me
So You Believe In You"
- Michael Jackson, Wanna Be Starting Something
I cannot say that Michael Jackson changed my life. I did not know him personally so I cannot say that I will miss him. But I can say that the world was a better place because Michael was in it. He was an amazing dancer, singer, songwriter, father, brother, etc. I may never achieve what he did nor have thousands of people at my funeral, but I hope when I go the sentiments will be the same, that he made a difference to all that knew him.
Pick Your Artist:
The instructions are: Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, answer these questions.
Are you male or female: Superfly Sister
Describe yourself: Working Day And Night
How do you feel about yourself: What More Can I Give
Describe your current boy/girl situation: Another Part Of Me or Love Never Felt So Good or For All Time
Describe where you currently live: On The Line
If you could go anywhere you wanted to go: Ease On Down The Road
Your favorite form of transportation: Sunset Driver or Fly Away
Your best friend is: Heartbreaker
Your favorite color is: Black or White
Favorite time of day: Niteline
If your life were a TV show, what would it be called: Someone In The Dark
What is life to you: It's The Falling In Love
What is the best advice you have to give: Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough
"Lift Your Head Up High
And Scream Out To The World
I Know I Am Someone
And Let The Truth Unfurl
No One Can Hurt You Now
Because You Know What's True
Yes, I Believe In Me
So You Believe In You"
- Michael Jackson, Wanna Be Starting Something
I cannot say that Michael Jackson changed my life. I did not know him personally so I cannot say that I will miss him. But I can say that the world was a better place because Michael was in it. He was an amazing dancer, singer, songwriter, father, brother, etc. I may never achieve what he did nor have thousands of people at my funeral, but I hope when I go the sentiments will be the same, that he made a difference to all that knew him.
Welcome To My Blog
Welcome! I have been following two blogs for a few years now and have finally been inspired to start my own. Alex and Dame are brilliant writers and even if you don't agree with their content you would be doing yourself a favor by checking out these two blogs. Thanks Alex for being so honest about yourself and inviting us into your deepest darkest thoughts. And thanks Dame for being the kind of person we should all aspire to be.
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